Sound of Silence

Ahamay, the big black bird that Dubois left for me has not eaten in days. I was concerned and so today I rode to the first wagons. I searched for a Spex. One that would help me with the bird. I did not wish to see him die.

I was met at the central fires by two slaves. I called them kajira one and kajira two. They were beautiful spirited Tuchuk slaves. They did not see me ... not me. But they saw a master, a scarred warrior and that is enough for me. In that moment I felt pride for my Tribe. It is not always so. There have been times I have hated my people. Hated myself for being one of them.

The Spex was there and she said she would help my bird if I would give my word to come to the fires more often. I am disturbed by this. Why would she ask this of me? Did she remember my family? Does she know they were of the first wagons? Does she know my father was a black mask?

It is dangerous for me to go there. And yet I will for I gave my word.

She had a slave called matou. A strange girl. A barbarian though so I suppose that explains much. Ahamay took to her instantly. I have never seen him like that. Not with Dubois even. I wish Dubois was here so I could ask her what it all means. I miss her.

I miss Ahamay for now my wagon is indeed empty save for the sound of my own breathing. Tonight I wish for a pillow of breasts. For the comfort of soft skin. For a voice to sing to me to still the silence that crashes in with a deafening roar.

Today I thought of a slave for the first time. I mean in fact, a slave for me for the first time. To own one. It is possible now. I will begin to work towards this. I do not think I can stand the silence of this wagon much more or I shall go sane.